I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
