Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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