Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Randomize
