D3 body, D1 cock
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
