forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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