so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize