I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
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