You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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