So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
even my farts smell like vagina
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
