im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize
