He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
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