You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Randomize
