Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Randomize
