it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
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