How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
