Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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