So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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