You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
