Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Randomize
