Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
