She's the barista slut.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
