Don't you send me to vm
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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