Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Did I show you my penis last night?
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Randomize
