He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Randomize
