he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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