yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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