I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
