why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
