Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
My pussy is not your playground.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
