Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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