Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
this boner is exhausting
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
