see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
