I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
