1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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