so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
