The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Randomize
