ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Randomize
