I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Randomize
