I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
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