I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
All the doctor said was why
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Randomize
