my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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