when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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