just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
