You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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