How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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