I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
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