its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
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You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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