So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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