My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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