dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
