Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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