We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
