i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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