if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
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i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
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he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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