He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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