so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
