Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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