69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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