So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
