We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
My vagina just recognized that song.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
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