we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
