Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
