I feel great
I just peed on a car
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
