u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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