i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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