it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I have post one night stand depression
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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