I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
